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From the time they enter a negotiating room the world’s best negotiators know what they expect out of a negotiation and whether, under proposed terms and conditions required of them by their counter-parties, it is at all possible to meet those expectations. Because they have prepared beforehand they know if certain terms are required by their counter-party that they can not accept, the negotiation will be hopelessly deadlocked and they had better close off the bargaining process, pack up and go home. Otherwise, if they stay and continue negotiating under such adverse conditions they surely will negotiate an outcome that is unsatisfactory to themselves.

If a term or condition that is utterly unacceptable to the negotiator is absolutely a bottom line requirement for the counter-party, there is an impasse. The best negotiator will ask the counter-party whether the term is unconditionally indispensable. If it is, the negotiator will pack up and go home. For a top negotiator it frequently is better to have no negotiation that to have a bad one.

Negotiators routinely determine, often in minute detail, before they meet with their counter-parties what the parameters of success will be for their negotiations. Likewise a smart negotiator will set forth any likely terms or conditions their counter-party could insist on which, from the negotiator’s stand point, would take the negotiation to an impasse, a point beyond which they had better not travel.

It is often difficult to know exactly what elements the counter-party will throw into the negotiation. This is especially true if the negotiator has not spent a great deal of time with the counter-party before or does not know the true objectives of the counter-party. If this is the situation it is essential that the negotiator follow certain steps to overcome this problem. The wise negotiator will think about these steps and try to outline a procedure to follow in case any such surprise elements are introduced into the negotiations.

When the parties first meet, the negotiator must probe into the thought processes of the counter-party. The easiest way to do this is to ask questions of the counter-party and listen intently to the answers. The negotiator should observe the facial and other body language responses given. The negotiator should determine what are the true objectives of the counter-party? Often the counter-party will state certain opinions or facts that will turn out to be false or misleading. Sometimes a counter-party will state that certain requirements absolutely must be included in the terms agreed upon but later these terms will vanish and the counter-party will not require them.

The skilled negotiator will seek to determine whether there are bottom-line objectives that are hidden from the agenda stated by the counter-party? Maybe there are psychological pressures that the counter-party himself does not consciously know about. A seasoned negotiator will not take statements at face value all the time and will try to establish a reliable test to determine whether to believe what is said.

The first importance you need to do is to create a good atmosphere. Chinese negotiators respect Americans’ culture can create an equal and harmonious negotiating atmosphere.

For example, western people like to talk about specific articles directly while Chinese negotiators can adjust their own thinking to begin the negotiation with specific articles to adapt the other side’s custom. This will make the guests think that their Chinese partners respect them and they will respect Chinese negotiators’ negotiating behaviors which are different with theirs. Thus, the negotiating atmosphere will become friendly and harmonious.

Secondly, remember it is important to be a good listener. In view of this situation that western negotiators have the characteristic of making full preparation and being professional. Chinese negotiators can remain silence during the negotiation, listen more and gain more information through listening.

Thirdly, do give definite words. Chinese negotiators should adopt direct and determined words and avoid equivocal words such as “maybe”, “perhaps” etc.

International business negotiation involves with the management of the contract and the follow-up communicating. Different culture has different understanding with the content and effect of the contract. For example: American culture emphasize objective and attach importance on equality which determines that they rely on thorough contract to ensure rights and set obligations. So, the contracts between American companies are always as long as hundreds of pages, including very careful wording articles about all the aspects related to the contracts with the purpose of protect their own company from any dispute and unexpected accident. Other culture may not have such complicated contracts, so, they must endure Americans’ this custom.

In international business activities, the differences of culture and national psychology always influence the decision of the management. Different cultural background makes different business style, for example, Americans are mainly interested in profit while Chinese are interested in the market shares. Besides, those who speak different language may have different thoughts. The stringent German, flexible Americans, calm French, the warm-hearted Spanish and the enigmatic Japanese and so on are all closely related to their language. So, in international business activities, people should not only know the rules of the business activities, but also the prevailing customs and culture characteristics of the other people.

Deeper Purposeful Questions

Why are you here on this earth?

What is your purpose, if you associate yourself with one?

Rest assured this is not an existentialist treatise but something simpler.

These types of questions are popular in every culture. The journey called life with its twists and turns is quite a trip. We trudge along through childhood to adulthood experiencing a various events while learning, growing, falling and getting up again.

In the West we live in a society that tries to mould us into conditioned men and women. Go with the crowd, listen to the media and governmental officials. Don’t buck the system because the system works.

Does it really?

At some point, everyone asks themselves deeper purposeful questions while searching for the truth. Many times painful circumstances compel us to stop and contemplate life.

I’m drawn to a passage by Dr. Alex Lickerman who writes in The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self: “Nietzsche once wrote that he who has a why to live can bear almost any how. According to Nichiren Buddhism, however, not every why is created equal. To build the strongest life force possible – one that can bear the weight of any how – Nichiren Buddhism argues we need a why to live that in some way involves contributing to the well-being of others.”

Foggy Mornings

I’m up in the mountains as I write this enjoying solitude and peace. This morning there’s a thick fog hovering over the home.

As I sit outside taking in the stunning morning, I realise many times become stuck in a spiritual fog. Our perspective is skewed and we can’t see beyond our current circumstances or ego.

The fog made it impossible to see the beautiful view this morning, so I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it. I know it’s there beyond the fog and I know it will be visible in a few hours when the fog lifts.

Likewise, when we experience darkness, we act less than graceful. We become frustrated, succumbing to negativity and cannot see beyond the fog. We believe the situation will continue forever and get mired in bad moods. We fail to realise that foggy mornings turn into gorgeous days.

Sit In The Fog

I sat in the fog this morning and enjoyed the stillness and majesty of nature. I watched clouds of fog inch towards me. I liken it to the stillness of mornings that flows through us.

I haven’t taken time to just sit still for weeks because of the busyness that overwhelmed me. Sometimes we need to ground ourselves in Mother Nature; to reconnect with our roots so to speak.

Time away is worthwhile, but what about everyday life?

Do you let the hustle and bustle of everyday living overpower you?

Do you need to be busy all the time?

Even if you are busy with things that matter, do you compromise time for meditation and sitting quietly to reconnect with yourself?

We need to make time to sit in the fog and find our bearings. But many of us are caught up with agendas and to do lists, we forget to come home to ourselves until it’s too late. And by then it can be too late.

“It isn’t life’s “content” that determines its value. It’s the awareness you bring to it, moment to moment. It’s attention itself. Presence is its same self regardless of the particulars of the moment,” affirms author Jan Frazier in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is.

Do You Want Answers?

If you want answers to your life’s purpose or your next step, make time for you. Time to sit and be still. Time to walk in nature and reconnect with yourself. Time to contemplate, breathe and relax. Quiet your mind.

If you want answers, make it a priority to retreat into silence.

Switch the mobile device on silent for a moment. I promise you, nothing will change. Facebook will still be there and so too will your Instagram followers.

Life’s journey is simple and believe it or not, you are in control more than you think. If things are not the way you like them to be, make changes. I give you permission to change your circumstances.

Get up earlier, stay up later. Go away for a few days. Go for a walk. Turn the TV and computer off. Leave your cell phone at home or turn it off. We are addicted to technology so much so that our attention span has burnt out.

A reader recently wrote a comment on an article I wrote that highlights this point of view. She said: “Teaching people to observe their surroundings and thoughts, in a way that creates being in the present moment, is a difficult process for many to grasp. When I take clients outside to observe nature, they often are confused about why the present moment is important. The constant stimulation of our brains by electronics changes our neural pathways. We have lost our connection to the earth and the positive effect it has when we are still and take notice.”

I was a little saddened that people are confused why the present moment is important. Because that is ALL you have! There is no tomorrow or past, but many people process them in the present moment while “it” (present moment) slips through their fingers.

Something must give if you want a better life. You can’t keep doing the same things while expecting conditions to improve. The fog represents the fog of separation and the illusion that blinds you from the truth.

Your truth differs from my truth, yet they are the one true constant in our lives. They are our compass and if we lose our bearings what assurances are there we will find our way back again?

It’s what author Donald Altman means when he says in Clearing Emotional Clutter: “If you tell yourself something long enough, you might end up believing it, even if it has no basis in truth.”

Rediscover what is important to you and pursue it passionately. The fog will eventually lift and reveal another day, yet your time is limited and you don’t want to keep dragging your heels hoping for a better life.

It is here and NOW, when you set the intention to live intentionally. Only then will you experience life cascading through you in its infinite glory.